Nepenthe

Looks like my writing mojo is back...

I start my fifth semester (already?!) in Monash next week. I don't usually do resolutions but this time - that feels like a new beginning to me - it doesn't feel right to not have any. Obviously a lot had happen since I last write in here I don't know what I should start with. I'm not gonna spend hours re-digging my memories, but to make things short, the things that happened have shaped what goals I set for new beginnings like this, so let's go with the future.

After several fails with my study, I feel like I should reevaluate my life. Failing doesn't sound good at all. Failing either means God is testing you or you didn't put enough effort. To me, based on what I have gone through, it is the latter because I know I could've worked harder than I did, but I simply didn't. Looking at my old revision books whenever I come home makes me miss being smart and getting good grades. I scored an A+ for Additional Math ffs. Of course, getting good grades is not everything, but with studying being the biggest part of my life (read: alat) right now, I feel that failing it means I'm failing life.

I have never been as concerned with my study as I am right now.

Sometimes it feels like the me before tarbiah was better that who I am right now, and it shouldn't be that way. So I'm gonna put more effort into getting the old me back. And it's nice to know that there's a good reward waiting for you at the end of your effort. The results, a ticket to Indonesia and of course, a reason for you to excel your DNT and get yourself a seat in heaven.