Alhamdulillah it's a better day today. This morning I woke up at 4 am (too early to my liking but I couldn't fall back to sleep so I got up) and showered, did my qiamullail and then hunger came. So I ate everything I could find in the kitchen that I share with 15 other people in the house. Alhamdulillah there was leftover food from last night, and alhamdulillah my appetite came back. I drove to uni at 6.30 so early in the am, didn't get the chance to see the sunrise but I loved the darkness anyway. I still haven't been able to really push myself to attend classes because I still feel overwhelmed in the presence of too many people around me, but I went to the lab session at 9. I was supposed to hand in a lab report but I haven't finished it because yesterday I was too lost in my own thoughts to concentrate. However I managed to submit the report, which I started late last night, at 5.42 pm. It was late, but I couldn't care less. I also ate a plateful of rice and chicken curry and fried long beans today, which costed me RM5.50, but I couldn't care less. I didn't know which playlist to pick, Rage or Beats or Depressed, but eventually I decided to listen to songs that I like. I felt like every songs were trash and I was skipping songs halfway through listening to it the whole time, but I couldn't care less. I have to admit that I am a little proud of myself today; proud for making it.

I'm going to do my pile of unfinished lab reports. I'm going to see my adik usrah tonight. I'm going for my own usrah on Sunday. I'm going to class on Monday. I'm going to talk to my friends today, have a little bit of normal conversation. I'm going to take up reading to distract my own mind. I'm going to eat well and sleep well.

I hope tomorrow I don't wake up like yesterday.