1226} lit
By Farahana Nur - Friday, May 06, 2016
Right now I'm sipping mocha from a plastic cup at a car service centre while waiting for my car to be serviced. I have the whole morning to spare here and I'm putting time to write, and squishing in writing a lab report in the meantime. I just had white coffee and nasi lemak a while ago and I might go get another nasi lemak again after this. Today I'm going to see my anak usrah after so long and I just realised that I worry about them and I miss them. It's good to know that I can be around society, do my work and eat like a normal person again after so long.
Last night was probably the best night of my life since about a month. I can't exactly recall when the last time I felt this content. I decided to see my anak usrah last night and join her to see the lanterns. Despite being scared of having to deal with human beings, I should say that it was a damn good decision – to be able to see small fire glimmering in the dark night – I'd say it was an adventure in its own way. After last night's splendid little event I felt lit from the inside, and I was walking home feeling so tired and sleepy; who knew feeling happy could be so tiring?
I was quite scared of the crowd in the area but I gradually managed to push the feeling aside. It wasn't like the scene you watch in Tangled where Rapunzel witnessed the sky lanterns in front of her eyes for the first time, but it was good enough for me. Every time a lantern was lit I couldn't help but think that those were my thoughts, my worries, my anxieties, and my problems burning, ready to set off. And in the moment those hands let go of the beautiful lanterns, and when the lights flew slowly up and became smaller and smaller before disappearing out of sight, I couldn't help but whisper under my breath… "Let it go."
This is FRHN reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.
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