I'm that kind of person who laughs uncontrollably one hour to distract myself from negative thoughts, tricking my mind that I'm happy, but cry the next because I know I was just lying to myself. I finally did my presentation yesterday, which sucked balls. And the feedback was terrible. I was an hour late, I couldn't answer all the questions even simpler ones,...
When I drive and stops for a red traffic light, there's nothing more that I want in the world other than for the light to stay red forever. I wish life would pause for a while, I'd like to breathe a little. ...
Don't get distracted or caught up by your emotions because once you do, you're going to lose your battle with life and you will fall immediately into a downward spiral of darkness and you won't feel like getting out of there because of the feeling of being a failure that you have inside you. Don't get distracted or caught up by your emotions....
I'm failing miserably in my study. On that thought, I'm also failing miserably in being a murabbi. I'm failing in being a muslim. Ah fuck it, I'm failing in just being a sensible human being. As much as I want to avoid self-hate, I can't avoid the fact that I'm just a failure in general. This is FRHN listening to The Girl Who...
I was about to cry in the midst of doing my assignment and I thought of writing my emotions down but somehow I ended up on someone else's blog and the feeling was gone. I see what you did there, mood swings. A few events occurred since I last wrote here. One of them being me confessing about what had happened to me,...
Right now I'm sipping mocha from a plastic cup at a car service centre while waiting for my car to be serviced. I have the whole morning to spare here and I'm putting time to write, and squishing in writing a lab report in the meantime. I just had white coffee and nasi lemak a while ago and I might go get another...
Alhamdulillah it's a better day today. This morning I woke up at 4 am (too early to my liking but I couldn't fall back to sleep so I got up) and showered, did my qiamullail and then hunger came. So I ate everything I could find in the kitchen that I share with 15 other people in the house. Alhamdulillah there was leftover...
Found myself reading my previous blog and thought, "Wow I have been a sad person for a long time." Last weekend I went for a daurah with the others, and I thought that had to be the chance for me to recover from feeling sad. On our way there, I was quite chirpy, and told my friend, "What if I told you I...
