Plays Iridiscent.

Let me tell you what’s been in my head lately:

To blast out screamo songs until my ears hurt, or bleed, or until something breaks. To scratch my skin until blood oozes out. To hit my head on the wall multiple times until either the wall or my head cracks. To drown myself in the sea whenever I drink water. A car crash. Ripping my chest open. Blood. Tall walls. A knife. Black. Being in a small room. These four walls are gonna crush me. A war. Electrocution. Falling. Old people, death and screams.

Allah, where are You? I miss You. I don’t know what’s wrong with myself. I don’t want to be depressed. I want to fight these self-hurting thoughts. It’s got so amplified I can’t hide it anymore. I want it to stop.

Stop…